CHOICES
–Helmstetter
Manage your choices
The end result of your life is the sum of all your choices
If you manage your choices, you will manage your life
Learning what and how to choose is most important
Choose: Faith, strength, honesty, belief in self, optimism, love,
goals and directions, to accept others, to make own decisions, to accept responsibility for yourself, to work for what you believe, to learn from mistakes, to choose consciously for yourself, etc.
We have free agency. Using it in a self-directed way is a choice
Manage self only by conscious control of every choice
Anyone who is able–and willing–to think can do it
Must have courage to change, to take control
“If do what always done, will get what always gotten”
Do you think things thru, work, and see them thru to a complete conclusion?
Who we are is the result of all our choices
It takes conscious decision and effort to overcome bad ones
By continual wrong choices we can even give up agency
“Highest levels of heaven are those who choose to be there”
Develop the right mental programs
We talk to ourselves all the time, what we say determines what we are. Make a choice of being positive
Negative self-talk is deadly–subconscious accepts as true
Always talk in first person, present tense to build good mental programs
Talk not about what is, but what you choose
Create positive programs in your brain
e.g. items in first paragraph: I am strong. I am optimistic
What we continually think about creates patterns in our brain
Consciously consider: What do I talk to myself about?
The strongest patterns you’ve created set your choices
Patterns create mental programs, which determine how we act
We are programmed by experience and others to make manywrong choices
We can overcome old, and give ourselves new, programs
Requires taking control of our thoughts for proper patterns
Our subconscious will create any role we consciously give
Develop proper patterns by conscious thought and practice
Always ask: 1] Is this a choice? 2] Decide: This choice is mine! 3] Obtain necessary info 4] Examine the
alternatives, then choose the best, even if it’s not good
4] Say: My choice is ___. I made this choice because___ .
Build a habit. It becomes natural and stops procrastination
If we exercise the right to choose, we exercise the right to change. Choices begun today can reprogram our future
Our pattern of choices add up to 1 of 3 programs:
1] Build us up, 2] tear us down, 3] stay even
Examine own patterns and determine which of 3 you are
Look at each area of life
To become Pattern 1: 1] Ask: Where am I now? 2] Is it working? 3] Look at others for models, good and bad 4] Recognize own negative choices and patterns 5] Make a list of choices that would improve your patterns 6] Set goals for change 7] Begin changing now 8] Assess progress 9] Recognize and reward your successes
Choose!
For several reasons, we often fail to make choices we should:
Unclear goals, unclear self-image = unclear choices and failure.
Remember: All your little choices add up to you
Sometimes fail to recognize them as choices
Brain on autopilot: don’t even realize choice is being made
Sometimes don’t know what we should do, or how
Requires a conscious decision for self-education
Sometimes just not willing or afraid to make right choice
“Do what is right, let the consequence follow”
Society teaches us not to think–keep doing it the old way
Want us to be a school of fish: same speed and direction
3/4ths of our initial total programming is like this
If want to make better choices, must learn to think
Exercise agency, make conscious choices
Ask: What subconscious programs are making my choices?
Practicing on all the little choices sets up the big ones
Remember, when you have a problem, if you face it and make a decision you will feel better
Every primary choice requires supporting choices
All must be reviewed, determined, and carried out
If fail to do so, primary choice will fail
Write down primary and supporting choices for big decisions
They form a team
Primary choice sets the goal, supporting ones get the job done
One of our choices is our attitude
Ask: How do I feel? How would I like to feel? How do I choose to feel?
How we feel about anything is a choice of attitude
Prove this by observing others: Attitudes vary even when circumstances don’t.
It is always the sum of their choices
Quichrbichn! We make our attitude worse by complaining
May seem a harmless habit–(and there’s lots to fuss about)
But creates damaging mental programs imprinted on mind
It reduces energy and affects attitude. It attracts negativity
It accomplishes nothing, and makes you miss any good
A bad event can ruin whole day–if choose to let it
Have limited time and energy. Use to complain or achieve
Choose to complain only if it will do some good
Choosing not to complain is being an adult
Emotional choices are usually wrong
Reason is overcome by feeling, e.g. anger, fear, passion
1] Recognize the danger 2] practice objectivity 3] put off the decision 4] control emotions (Great servants, but lousy masters)
Actions (except involuntary ones) are always a choice
Ask: What am I doing? What would I like to do? What do I choose to do?
Want to know what choices you’ve made? How effective?
Look at where you are in life
Many believe happiness, love, success, are fate, circumstances, or luck [The kind of people who buy lottery tickets]
Like everything else, these are choices: 3 of most important
If don’t believe so, then failing to accept responsibility
Happiness is an attitude. Attitudes are always up to you:
Happiness is therefore always a choice
Lincoln: “Most people as happy as make up mind to be”
Each morning, choose to be happy today–and keep doing it
Seems to be easy for some; impossible for others
May not be able to change circumstances, but can change attitude
Then, maybe, you can change your circumstances
Can certainly do best with given set of circumstances
Success, and happiness, defined and determined by that
Feeling of being in love always destroyed by realities of living
The fireworks and the bells always die
Must make the choice to make it work–self-responsibility
Choose to respect and love, and to be respected and loved
Make the necessary supporting choices
How will you love? What will you give to get it?
Are you willing to pay the price?
No one can achieve success automatically or easily
Society programs us to be mediocre; tells us what can’t do
Must choose to remake the program. It is a choice
If don’t make conscious choice, then choose to fail
Start believing–and telling self–what can do. Kill negatives
Believe and choose: I can!
Decide: Primary choice, supporting choices, price will pay
A Plan for Choosing
Look at the choices you make–imagine what new ones could do
in your life!
Ask yourself: “Who am I? What do I want?” What will it take?
What price am I willing to pay?
Are the things I want what are really important and fulfilling?
Write down primary and supporting choices in each of the following: My family. My home. My personal relationships. My education (formal and informal). My career. My income and money management. My other goals and self-expectations. My health, fitness, and appearance. My spare time. My happiness. My spirituality. My service to others. My attitude. My friendliness. My self esteem. My personal style. My problem solving. My faith. My thoughts. Other important areas.
Remember to work and balance all the following: spiritual, mental, emotional, social, physical
Take control! Consciously define your choices
Write new choices on 3 x 5 cards, carry, and read
No one can do it but you. So do it!
As Kimball said:Do it! Do it right! Do it right now!