HAPPINESS
“Happiness is the design and object of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it.” –Joseph Smith
“People are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” –Abraham Lincoln
“People worry a lot about happiness. If they’d quit worrying about it and get on with doing what they need to be doing, they’d be a whole lot less unhappy”. -RC
20/20 News Program, January 2008
Determinants of Happiness
- 50% is in the genes, e.g. some people just seem to be “born happy”
- 10% is circumstances, e.g. childhood, looks, health, social status, where live
- 40% is intentional attitudes and choices, particularly:
Goals and their pursuit
Relationships, which requires the ability and effort to develop and maintain them
Positive meditation: Kind thoughts, compassion, counting blessings
Half hour each day can make the change in 2 weeks!
Fundamentals of Happiness
- Certain activities create feelings of happiness, e.g. socializing, praying, sex
Happiness is not a “state”; it comes a moment at a time, from things engaged in
Having kids was not shown necessarily to give happiness
- Money: Have enough, not too much [a little more than friends], and spend it well
- All happiness has some social basis: Not what you do, but who you do it with
The happiest people have a rich social life
- Have a life “calling”, or use sheer will to turn your work into one
- Develop “flow”. Easy to do with something you love; follow your bliss
Happiest places on earth [US is 23d]*
Denmark is the happiest country, despite 63% tax rate
Homogeneous society: 9 of 10 are full-blood Danes, 8 of 10 are Lutheran
All jobs have similar pay and status, and there is strong trust of each other
Everyone is well provided for, and there are few rich and little desire for it
As Muslims, and conflict, increase in the population, happiness is declining
92% of Danes belong to one or more gov’t-sponsored social clubs
Singapore has the happiest people in Asia
This despite the fact it has extremely strict laws and high taxes
E.g. beaten with a cane for spitting in public
Believe US has too much freedom!
The country is clean, safe, stable, and economically secure
Corruption is discouraged by paying top gov’t officials $1mm per year
The people are more materialistic than the Danes, and somewhat less content
There are some rich people, but they feel least secure, and want even more
Unhappiest places are where there is extreme poverty, instability, or insecurity
E. g. starving countries in Africa
Italians are least happy in Europe, because of total corruption
THE EFFECTS OF SUCCESS ON HAPPINESS
ABC News program, circa 1992
Americans who were interviewed expressed several expectations re happiness:
Most believe money is the key, but studies proved newly rich are only happy for about a year
Then, no matter how much they have, it is not enough and they want more
Many may spend compulsively to maintain their “happiness”, till bankrupt
Those who seek fame, as might be expected, are happy only as long as fame continues
Those who are ambitious are happy only as long as they continue to climb upward
Must continue to exceed the apparent success of others
All these things fail to bring real or lasting happiness
Contrary to these beliefs, several principles are conducive to continued real happiness:
Need to believe we have substantial control in our life
Found even among babies a few months old
Most important factor, ahead of money, for employees
Cannot feel in control unless accept responsibility for the things that happen to you
Need to be basically optimistic. Provides confidence one can deal with inevitable problems
With optimism, defeat spurs us on, rather than beating us down, and achievement follows
Need to work. Leisure is a curse to happiness; need meaningful activity
Need to get caught up in and experience challenge and the opportunity for achievement
While working in pursuit of other things, happiness happens
Need to have close relationships to which we are committed
Relationships, e.g. marriage, often break up when success occurs. Unhappiness follows
Need to believe something is more important than ourselves
Faith in God, and service to him, is a usual underpinning to all the other criteria for happiness
Gives sense of purpose and of commitment to something greater
MISCELLANY
Jean Chatsky, Money Magazine, polled 1,500 people. The finding:
Annual income over $50,000 makes no difference to happiness
Simmons and Chatsky: Purposeful work, religion, and family make people happy
Many have negative mental tapes that say, “You’re not happy, shouldn’t be happy, don’t deserve to be happy”. Those tapes need to be fought
Dr John Izzo, who studies happiness,interviewed 250 people age of 60-106. They all agreed there are five true secrets to happiness: Be True to Yourself, Leave No Regrets, Become Love, Live the Moment, and Give More Than You Take.
CONCLUSIONS
- Achieving happiness can be accomplished, and it is therefore worth the effort!
Circumstances [10%] can be worked on to a degree; attitude and activities [40%] a lot
- Look for something greater than self: e.g. God, a cause, community, service, etc
- Spend time each day reading “feel-good” stories, and displace the negative tapes
- Maintain many social contacts and close relationships, e.g. family, and make them good
- Have short- and long-term goals: career, hobbies, travel, etc, and work regularly toward them
- Avoid materialism, but work on having enough to comfortably meet needs
- Deal with and resolve the problems in your life
This is a terrible world, filled with violence, misery, and hate
This is a wonderful world, filled with kindness, happiness, and love
Which world do you choose to see?
Which world do you choose to live in?
– RC
*Suicide rates/100,000: Russia: 34.3. Japan: 24. Denmark: 13.6. Sweden: 13.2. Iceland: 12.6. Canada: 11.9. Norway: 11.5. U.S: 11. Singapore: 9.5. Italy: 7.1. U.K: 7. Jamaica: 0.1.