SELF ESTEEM
– Ps 82:6
How is your self esteem? Can you judge? Know how it differs from ego? How it relates to umility?
Self esteem is crucial: [Steinbeck:] to like others, [Maxwell:] to love God, [Kimball:] to CTR
Psychologist MacDougall [quoted by Kimball]:
“The first thing to be done to help a man to moral regeneration is to restore his self-respect.”
Much—most?—evil is done not by evil people from evil intentions, but from low self esteem, protecting a sorry ego
Everyone is insecure, just a question of what areas, how much. Tho we’re not unique, often let it grind us down:
Anger, defensiveness, lack confidence, fear, indecisiveness, poor relationships, argumentativeness, controlling, hide it, pull others down, seek constant approval, boastfulness
Recognize the appearance of confidence and self esteem in others can be deceptive
Paradoxically, some of the seemingly most confident people are some of the most insecure
What’s on the outside does not always reflect what’s on the inside—they fake it
Arrogance is always evidence of low self esteem, whatever status may appear to be
[Covey:] The focus today is on technique [outward skills], not character [inward battle]
Recognize can have self esteem despite insecurities. [D&C:] “I give men weakness. . .” Be grateful for it!
[Kimball:] “God, help me to hold a high opinion of myself. Not an abnormally developed self-esteem that becomes haughtiness, conceit, or arrogance, but a righteous self-respect that might be defined as belief in one’s own worth, worth to God, and worth to man.” Gives confidence: “Right is might”
J. Smith was humble, but many thought him arrogant. He was certainly cocky!
The difference? [J Smith:] Nature of man to desire to excel, but should want others to excel also
Since self esteem is imperative both to temporal and spiritual success, how develop true, healthy self esteem?
First. The foundation: “Who am I?” 1] Child of God—literally. 2] His elect, with promises: “Eye hath not seen”
How know? Scriptures, P. Blessing, prayer, [Jesus:] “What manner of men ought ye to be?”
We should be what others admire and want righteously to emulate. Think it, look it, talk it, act it:
[Mandela:] “Playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened. . .”
[Jesus:] Salt; “Do not hide your light under bushel”. [Gillette:] “Look sharp, Feel sharp, Be sharp!”
Be grateful, grateful, grateful—let it fill your soul to bursting
Second. The acronym “CAST”. Each of the 4 is necessary—not enough to know God loves you
To extent develop these, will have self esteem. Must be a balance—excess of one will not compensate
C: Conscience can eat you alive! “All have sinned”, but have I truly repented? Resolved with Bishop? [Duplantis:] “Admit it, quit it, forget it”. Have sense of forgiveness, worthiness from Spirit?
Need to feel, deep inside, God has forgiven you, and sacrifice is acceptable. “Tho sins as scarlet”
A: Achievement. Reasonable success at the things that really matter
Spiritual, educational, relational, occupational
Requires goals, work, growth, dealing with challenges and failure: [Churchill:] “Never give up!”
But measure by proper yardstick, not world’s: How much good done, own gifts [Covey:] Mission
How good are you? At least as good as the best you’ve ever done. With God, vast limits
S: Service. The Dead Sea takes in but won’t give out. [Jesus:] “Cast thy bread upon the water”
Most imp: Lift others and build their self esteem: Help them become their best, too
T: Tapes. Negative mental tapes—most from childhood—go round and round in our head, e.g. Dick Carlson
How you think: Need to replace the negative mental tapes with positive. [Prov:] “Dog returns to its vomit”
[McKay:] “Tell me what a man thinks about, and I’ll tell you what he is.” Think like one of elect
Force self to focus on positives. One negative can grow huge if focused on—fight them!
Remind yourself who you are, what capable of, both in life and eternity
For good self esteem, keep it simple: 1] develop the principles of CAST: clear your Conscience, work to Achieve worthy goals, Serve, replace negative Tapes. 2] Focus always on who you are: Not only a child of God, but his elect. Ps 82:6 and Rom 8:17 tell us, “Ye are gods, and children of the most High”. . . “and as children, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Jesus Christ”. Be humbly grateful to the Lord for his promise—and believe in yourself by believing him.